1) Wig shame. I live in fear of my one year old ripping my wig off my head or it blowing away in the next strong breeze. I also worry about what message it sends people around me about what I think about my natural hair. My old lady neighbor loves to comment every time she seems me in the wig. A few weeks ago, I had the wig on to go out with a friend and she commented smugly, "I see you have your hair on today." I tried to laugh it off but I was really upset. Don't you hate when people make back-handed comments intended to irk you? More than that though, I didn't want her thinking that I thought something was wrong with my natural hair. I've grown very protective of my kinks and curls and when she said that, I had to fight the urge to rip off my wig and yell, "I look cute this way too."
2) My four year old, Isaiah, is really confused. He asked me if my short hair is my "stay" hair and my long hair is my "go" hair. He reasoned this based on the fact that I wear my hair natural more on the weekends (our stay days) than during the week (our go days). I worry that I am sending him the message that my short natural hair isn't good enough to go out and be dressed up with. I just envisioned him getting ready to go on a date in college. I pictured him greeting his date at the door and being shocked to see her getting ready to go with a short natural style. In disbelief, I envision him asking, "You're not coming out with your stay hair are you?" Mortified...
Anyway, it all boils down to me. Aside from not feeling comfortable with a wig, it no longer reflects who I am... who I want to be. I want to be the woman who is confident in every part of herself, from my big toe, to my big butt, to the kinks and curls that grow oh-so-naturally from my scalp. More importantly, I don't want to raise two more black men who "prefer" their black women with straight hair when we all know very few of us have straight hair that grows naturally. I have dated those men and lord knows, it is all kinds of peace that I am married to a man who loves me just as I am. Bye bye, wig. In the words of my Wes, "All done."
3 comments:
Yes, your natural hair is very cute! And I always imagined a wig would feel hot and uncomfortable. :) Also, short hair is an excuse to buy more accessories. On with the earrings and headbands! :)
It was both hot and uncomfortable! I don't think there is anything wrong with it - I think Wendy Williams is fab. It just wasn't for me. You inspired me with your cute headband! I finally have enough hair to wear one again lol.
I think it's very important for a woman to feel good about herself - whatever it takes. Now, with that being said, when I turned 25 I knew that for me that it was going to be natural hair until I died. I can't imagine wearing a wig (unless, all of my hair fell out)because for most women (especially for those of color)it's always so obvious that it's a wig.
As African Americans I think we have so much to overcome (still) and that the straight, long, silky hair-thing (your going out hair) reminds me so much of the times when I was growing up and everyone thought "white" was better and more acceptable. Nappy hair versus good hair - which was qualified as long, sraight, silky etc.)
Have you watched Chris Rock's documentary "Good Hair"?
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