"Mommy, do some boys dress like girls?" I paused, wondering if my husband could hear from where he played with Wesley in the living room. If he heard, I could picture him all ears straining to hear the outcome of this conversation.
"Yes, baby." I said simply.
He nodded. I continued to put things away wondering if I should elaborate or if any more would be too much for his four years.
"Do some girls dress like boys?" He asked.
"Yes, baby." I nodded.
He looked at me intently staring at my hair, growing, but still very short from my big chop two months ago.
"Are you a boy like me, Wesley and Daddy now?" He asked with slight hesitation.
Trying to hide the hurt from my face, I knelt down to his level and gave him a big smile. "No, baby, I am still a girl. Sometimes girl's wear their hair short like Mommy and your friend, K's Mommy."
"And my friend, R!" He offered. I nodded.
"Sometimes, boys wear their hair long like your Uncle O and your friend, A." I said. He nodded, smiling. "Not all boys have short hair and not all girls have long hair." I concluded.
He smiled. "I have short hair, Daddy has short hair, Wessie has short hair and you have short hair!" He yelled excited pointing at me. Satisfied, he walked back over to his table, placed the sock back on his head and continued eating his yogurt.
Whew. This transition has been wonderful for my spirit but it hasn't always been the easiest for my self esteem. Nonetheless, moments like these continue to make me glad I did it!
One down... mainstream America to go.
7 comments:
Awww what a sweet, bright boy!
You look fabulous! (But then again, I"m partial to natural hair). I love that your son was so inquisitive. It wasn't personal, it was just a learning session. When my oldest son was learning about slavery in school, he came home and asked if I had been a "field nigga" based on my dark skin. Talk about being startled... LOL
Thanks, ladies! He is a smarty pants that kid :-). My husband and I had a good laugh about that one, Dina! I would have been speechless!!
I realize as the white girl commentator I might be saying something totally inappropriate here. I told you before how after seeing the Chris Rock doc Good Hair, I brought it up in conversation with my very outgoing black lesbian neighbor and she put up her hand and said that she didn't want to talk about it and I felt like an ass.
That said, I'd say a full half of the black women I see up where I live (Boston area) wear their hair short and natural and it never even phased me that it was at all a big deal until I saw that movie.
It is like any woman, regardless of color, who goes from having long hair to really short hair - there are going to be surprised comments.
I think you look amazing! I wish I could wear my hair short myself but I have a fat round face and the one time I cut it short I was told by not one but two people that I looked like "a basketball."
Holy crap Dina! I would have had the fish mouth - opening and closing and not a sound coming out.
Meredith, no more disclaimers about being a white girl commentator! You are totally entitled to an opinion on the subject. I'm sorry your neighbor was so weird about it. For some people, hair is a very sensitive subject - like you said, regardless of race. The other day I was picking up the baby from daycare. The babies had spent the afternoon painting and they had to be washed up. One of the adorable little girls had paint in her hair, so the teachers washed her hair. When her mom got there to pick her up, she went on and on about how she had never seen her child's hair soo curly and she had no idea her daughter would have such a "jew fro". I just laughed and shook my head. I thought, here is another little girl who will undoubtedly have hair issues. We all have 'em! Oh, and LOL about the basketball. I am SURE you do not look like a basketball! lol
You look absolutely gorgeous no matter which way you decide to wear your hair (natural or unnatural - lol)
I agree that kids are so honest and forthright - They're always trying to make sense of things. That's my baby!!!
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