All I Want For Christmas is....

Hope everyone had as magical of a Christmas as we did! 

Christmas!

Growing up, Christmas was hands-down my favorite holiday. From January 1 until December 25, I counted down the days and despite never really believing in Santa (courtesy of my older brothers), my parents made it downright magical.  During the weeks leading up to Christmas, my mom would take us to see the Rockettes at the Radio City Christmas Spectacular.  My Catholic elementary school would put on Christmas plays and concerts (my starring roles included the Angel Gabriel and Santa, that's me playing Santa above, I convinced my music teacher Sister Marilyn that I was a star lol).  My dad would take me on long rides around our neighborhood to see the lights.  My older brother, Marc would take me to Macy's at Herald Square to see Santa and to "window shop" at FAO Schwartz.  Occasionally, on the night before Christmas, we would join my aunt and grandfather for midnight mass. Boy... I miss Christmas in New York...

It was also probably one of the few times being a child of divorce was great.  I woke up Christmas morning and the living room floor underneath the tree was blanketed in toys.  Then, after a big Mom-made my breakfast, my dad would come by with another gigantic bag of toys.  THEN, we would go to my Grandfather's house and he would have more toys and I would play all day long with my cousins.    
I was the youngest child... the only girl... and the youngest grandchild... needless to say, I was rotten. 
It was a kids dream. 

As I got older, my beliefs changed and naturally, so did my relationship with Christmas.  I felt a great deal  of conflict over my religion and I felt like giving into my love for Christmas would be hypocritical.  I loved the opportunity to get together with family but everything else sort of fell by the wayside.
When I became a parent, it was almost like I had to celebrate.  It was a such a staple of my childhood that I couldn't/can't see raising a family without celebrating the holiday.  Now that Isaiah is 4, it almost feels like the celebration is just getting started.  This year he helped decorate the tree, hang the stockings and we even have the occasional dance parties to Christmas music.   Wesley is primarily concerned with getting the decorations off the tree but he does his little jig at the party, haha.  For the first time since I was a little girl, I find myself getting butterflies anticipating the day.  I can't wait to see their wide eyes when they come downstairs and see all the presents piled up under the tree.  Then, like my mom, I can't wait to make a big breakfast for everyone.  I suppose its about tradition... I can only hope they remember these days just as fondly as I do.
Here is one of my all time favs, White Christmas by The Drifters:

Merry Christmas for all those that celebrate! Happy Holidays to everyone else!  

Daydreamin'

On October 19, 2009, two days before my brother died, I read an excerpt from a novel I was writing since 2008 at a local writer's group.  It was a part of a challenge to myself. The scene involved my protagonist visiting his father in the hospital after he had just been in an accident. I tried my best to articulate his emotions and feelings.  The emptiness of a hospital, the brightness of the white walls, the foolishness of hope in those often hopeless moments.   I revisited that scene last night, two years later.  In the two years since I read that scene at that local open mic, I have watched two people I love die within six months of one another and I have welcomed a new life into the world less than a year after that.  The influence of my experience on the revision is undeniable.  I am officially 90 pages into the novel.  I have been writing furiously for the past few months.  It is equal parts cathartic and reflective.  Each night I write, lost in an isolating but crowded universe of my own creating. Then I eat apples covered in honey, cinnamon and maraschino cherries with my husband as I watch him read what I have written.   Then we dream out loud.  I have set so many resolutions  (and another one) on this blog and life seems to always get in the way.  I will say this, I would love if I made my current income writing full time... not even that much.  Just to be able to spend my life doing what I love each second of the day with enough to feed the babies and save for a rainy day.  That would sweeter than our apples and honey. 

What have you been dreaming about lately?  What steps are you taking to make it a reality?