Musings of the Tall and Pregnant

It's been awhile, huh?  Well, awhile for me.  The thing about blogging is, although I haven't been present here - I have been constantly blogging in my head or are those thoughts?  Although I have been neglecting my blog, I have been submitting here.  Which has seen me through two firsts in the past two week - 1) I posted my first short story on the Internet... ever... called Washed Away (and let me tell you, I feel like I have been naked in public ever since) and 2) I did my first interview with The Good Enough Mother author and journalist Rene Syler!  I didn't even know I had journalist aspirations but I had a blast doing it. 

So this is what I would have been blogging about if the words were not stuck in my head:

1. Last Wednesday, April 28 would have been my brothers 39th birthday.  So there's that.
2. Isaiah has an ongoing obsession with his penis and my lack of penis.  It is a conversation we have at least once a day.  He also declared very loudly while my husband was bathing him, "I LIKE PENIS" which prompted a whole bunch of homophobic fear and hysteria that I didn't know my husband was capable of.  Even if my son turns out to like men (which Mommy and Daddy -despite his moment, will be perfectly fine with)... I doubt a sign is a declaration in the bathtub at 2.
3. In other bathroom conversation (which is where I like to tell Isaiah the word "Penis" belongs - as opposed to discussions at the grocery check out line about my lack of penis), Isaiah is all about the Potty.  He sits, he pees, he dabbles (loves that penis), he washes hands and we throw parties! His teachers have encouraged me to send him to school in undies which probably means he is officially trained... I am still quite nervous.
4. On a serious note, two couples very close to me are going through divorces.  The husband of one couple and wife of the other are people I love dearly so I have really taken it to heart.  It may be the pregnancy but I have even had dreams about both.  My husband and I have been through our share of drama in our six and a half years together but we have always bounced back because of our mutual commitment to our marriage and family.  I wish I can confidently say it will always be that way but it seems like people just stop trying... I keep wondering what happens to make people stop?  What makes people forget those vows of commitment, love and friendship?  That sort of inspired my short story on MOH on Sunday.
5.  House hunting... OY.  I have been consumed by this.  The fam and I just moved to our area in August for a my new job.  Because we were new to the area, we chose to rent instead of buy.  When I found out I was pregnant, I had a really strong desire to have a house by the time the baby gets here.  You see - I grew up in the same house my whole life.  My parents took me home from the hospital to that house and my mother still lives there.  I felt like I was doing Isaiah and new baby a disservice by making them call an apartment home (craziness.)  So, since January, I have been going insane looking for homes, viewing homes, researching schools, etc... etc... I have learned a really big lesson: you can't rush the home buying process, 7 months pregnant is too pregnant to be waddling around seeing 10+ homes in a day and don't ask a toddler's opinion about a house because they will love everything or hate everything depending on whether they have had a nap or snack yet.  Important stuff, people.
6. Sex.  My pregnant body and sex.  Feeling sexy while being pregnant.  Intimacy and pregnancy.  Raging teenage hormones and my fat pregnant body.  Trying to make my belly sexy.  Do I hide or accentuate my Homer Simpson body when seducing my spouse? The realization that my husband doesn't care and just wants to have sex. SEX.
7. Pregnancy brain farts.  Anyone else get progressively less intelligent during pregnancy?  Let me tell you - this does not bode well in my profession.  Today, I used the work "talken" - as in, "Yes, I have talken to him before." Odd, I thought.  I am pretty sure that sounds wrong.  "I mean, I have talken to him."  I said again.  Light bulb.  "Spoken, I mean, Spoken."  Yesterday, I walked into the office of Isaiah's pre-school director just to stare at her.  Well, not with the intention to stare at her.  I had something to say and my brain sent the message to my legs, my words just didn't get the memo.  I stared at her, she laughed.  "It's coming to me..." I said.  I knew I was supposed to be there.  A minute later, I remembered - Isaiah's schedule for the summer. 
8. What is it about being pregnant that makes strangers feel they can ask you intimate questions and touch your body?  The most inappropriate amongst them has been questions about my bladder and bowels.  One woman put her mouth to my stomach and started to talk to the baby.  Another male co-worker asked to touch my stomach as his hands made his way to my belly - not even waiting for an answer! A  friend of mine who has never been pregnant asked me how I am not annoyed by it all.  She noticed just how crazy people can be because we work together.  I guess I am still giddy over the fact that he is coming - but as I get more and more preggers, I am thinking the day will come.

Alright, folks.
*Throws the mic down.
That's all I got.  You've been great.