Cystectomies, Autism and other worries...

So, if you haven't noticed I am playing catch up. For the past three months I have had ALOT to say and haven't had the time to say it. Most of my friends are unmarried and childless and I am pretty wary about how much time I spend talking about Isaiah or just how happy I am. I am terrified I will be one of those people that can only talk about their child... well... I am :-). I am not working and I spend most of my time staring at him - still amazed that he isn't in my stomach anymore. Isaiah wasn't planned - he was just the product of pure love between my husband and I. He was conceived shortly after I found out I had failed the NY Bar. I was in a pretty dark place. I know I wouldn't have emerged as strong as I did had I not had the support of my husband and close friends. When I was studying for the bar again, I found out I was pregnant! It was after the holidays - January 5 to be exact. Richard was sleeping and I took a pregnancy test really not expecting a positive result. When I found out I was pregnant I was excited but terrified! I woke Richard up and I remember just chanting "Oh my God..." again and again as Richard grinned and kissed my cheeks. I remember thinking I have no choice but to pass this exam this time. I suddenly became obsessed with passing the bar. I was working full time and studying even harder. Then, the unexpected happened. A sharp pain sent me to the emergency room and I found out I had a huge cyst on my right ovary. The cyst had torsed - cutting off the blood to my ovary and if I didn't have emergency surgery, I would lose my ovary. The doctor told me that the surgery would increase my chance of a miscarriage. Suddenly, this little lima bean sized person was not just some reason for me to succeed. I realized he was a life. A life my husband and I created. The possibility of his life ending made me realize there was NOTHING more important than him. Crying over the possibility of losing him made my depression over failing a TEST the first time seem so trivial. My goal was to get better and make sure Isaiah was born healthy. I knew I could pass the bar - I knew I should have the first time, but I think I needed to understand that life was a whole lot more important than one failure. Anyway - obviously my miracle baby was born... oh, and I passed the bar too.

So, clearly Isaiah is important to his Mama... and Daddy too. Which is why this vaccination - autism controversy is scaring the hell out of me! My first pediatrician was recommended by a secretary in my office. When I tried to discuss the controversy, he pretty much said - "It's better to get vaccinated, you will have to pay anyway - so shut up and vaccinate." NOT COOL. First, I pride myself on being an intellectual. I feel like I carry myself in a way that warrants respect. Second, I am the mom. No one is more invested in my child's health than me. If you can't understand why I would want to be reassured that my child will be safe - you have no business working with children. Ultimately, my husband and I left that pediatrician and luckily, my old pediatrician was still in practice. Actually, not only was he in practice he was the chairman of pediatrics at the hospital where my son was born. At our first office visit he spent over twenty minutes with us discussing our options. We found a spaced out vaccination schedule that made us feel comfortable. Isaiah's first vaccinations are this coming Wednesday! He will receive DTAP and the Rotavirus vaccination. The rest we have spaced out throughout his first year. I am still nervous but I am confident our decision was informed and respected. Dr. A (Isaiah's doc) reminded me doctor's work for us - their job is to keep us informed, healthy and safe. If your doctor is impatient with you - chances are he is not right.